All those times I feel overwhelmed by anxiety, or drowning in sorrow; a failure in life... Is it my fault? Have I brought this on myself? If you ask me what my strength is, I would say thinking. And my greatest weakness? Overthinking. My most powerful weapon turns on me, and usually I am to … Continue reading Have I brought this on myself?
Tag: Mental illness
I feel your long fingers trying to take hold of me, trying to suffocate me. You bring despair and remove all hope, trying to convince me that there is nothing left for me in this life. But you are lying. I have things to live for, I deserve to be here. I want to be … Continue reading Standing up to suicide
"How are you doing?" Something that is asked all the time, but all too often is answered with half-truths. "I'm fine" is far easier than admitting vulnerability, hurt, depression, and loneliness. Honestly, I don't know how I'm doing. What would you like me to say? "Everything is good, thanks"? That's not true, not really. Do … Continue reading How are you doing, really?
What trouble was tormenting your soul? So many times I thought you were doing well, because you said you were. Is there anything I could have said, or done? Is there any way I could have changed the outcome of your struggles? An emptiness has filled me; disbelief that you are no longer with us. … Continue reading When a friend takes his life
Vultures circling overhead, watching me, waiting for the final moment. Weary through so much fighting, I lie there on the ground no longer caring. Anxiety has whittled me down to the core, exposing each and every weakness. And yet, the remnants of the warrior spirit remain. A dying flame, evidence of what once was. Time … Continue reading Today is not the end
At 4am I find myself wide awake, already thinking about this past week and the day ahead. If only I had just gone back to sleep before my thought processes were in full flow. Perhaps it isn't such a bad thing. In this busy life I reflect less often than I should. Clearly, my brain … Continue reading When you cannot get to sleep
This morning, the sky was a reflection of my soul following a troublesome week at work. It was misty, overcast, and miserable. Rain seemed likely, yet there was an element of unpredictability in the air; the norm for British weather. A job I once enjoyed had become challenging. I was weighed down, unable to see … Continue reading A smile makes all the difference