316 days without self-harm

Today I hurt myself, accidentally. A bit of light gardening, and the blade slipped to reveal far more than I would have guessed. After recently feeling suicidal on a couple of occasions, I knew I was no longer in the healthy state of recovery which I had been striving to attain. However, for these feelings …

Relapsing after months of improvement

Night Sky   The day draws to a close As night begins to fall, Heralded by night time’s chorus. Shafts of moonlight pierce the dark, Only to be hidden by clouds Moving, so gently, in the cool breeze. Dark, quiet, and empty, Not a thing disturbs the silence. As you gaze at your surroundings, you …

Have I brought this on myself?

All those times I feel overwhelmed by anxiety, or drowning in sorrow; a failure in life... Is it my fault? Have I brought this on myself? If you ask me what my strength is, I would say thinking. And my greatest weakness? Overthinking. My most powerful weapon turns on me, and usually I am to …

Today is not the end

Vultures circling overhead, watching me, waiting for the final moment. Weary through so much fighting, I lie there on the ground no longer caring. Anxiety has whittled me down to the core, exposing each and every weakness.  And yet, the remnants of the warrior spirit remain. A dying flame, evidence of what once was. Time …

An Unwelcome Guest

Anxiety, a very familiar entity whose presence I have not missed; we meet again. Have you come to torment me once more? Has my previous suffering not been enough to satisfy you? When will you leave me be? Lurking around every corner, you wait for an opportune moment to strike. Today, what shall it be? …

Amusing marriage proposal

This past week anxiety has been a struggle for me, and as a result I kept questioning whether I was loved and valued. In situations like these I find it helpful to remember positive events, things for which I am thankful, and amusing moments. The following is an actual conversation I had over WhatsApp, with …

Today I’m not doing so well

Some days go so well for me, but today was not one of those days. Often I feel relaxed and free; today I became anxious over the smallest things. Mostly I sleep well; last night I was awake late into the night. Usually I am energetic; today my legs felt like lead. My appetite is …