Relapsing after months of improvement

Night Sky

 

The day draws to a close

As night begins to fall,

Heralded by night time’s chorus.

Shafts of moonlight pierce the dark,

Only to be hidden by clouds

Moving, so gently, in the cool breeze.

Dark, quiet, and empty,

Not a thing disturbs the silence.

As you gaze at your surroundings, you realise

The night reflects your heart.

 

A dark cloud covers your life;

Light strains to reveal the wounds

You’ve hidden for too long.

Fear of failure, fear of rejection,

They bring the past to remembrance,

Controlling every fibre of your being.

It’s all you’ve truly known,

Comforting familiarity yet destructive taskmaster,

Watching your every step,

Holding you in fear’s chains.

 

Driving you to excel and please,

You never truly succeed.

For the cruel taskmaster only desires

Your anguish, pain, and fear,

And prevents you from being free.

Freedom is within your grasp;

How often you let it slip away.

If only you could love yourself.

For to be loved is to excel and please,

Or so you were led to believe.

 

I wrote this poem a few years ago when I was in a bad place. Things improved, but recently I seem to have returned to this place. But recovery is like that. It isn’t a straight road, and it most certainly does not happen all at once. I’m disappointed in myself that this happened.

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