When you cannot get to sleep

At 4am I find myself wide awake, already thinking about this past week and the day ahead. If only I had just gone back to sleep before my thought processes were in full flow.

Perhaps it isn’t such a bad thing. In this busy life I reflect less often than I should. Clearly, my brain is now wide awake and I have time.

When I pause and consider my train of thought, there is not even a trace of the negativity that once restrained me. On the contrary, a new habit of positive thinking is progressing well. By finding at least one thing each day for which I am grateful, my outlook is changing for the better. I am not even sure exactly when I was last tempted to self-harm because it seems so long ago. It was a difficult habit to develop, but it has proved worthwhile and hopefully I will be able to continue without admitting defeat and yielding to negativity when circumstances are difficult.

Lesson learned: I am more positive than I was, but I need to discipline my thoughts so that I do not keep myself awake in the early hours!

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