Remaining positive in a world of negativity presents challenges for a cynic such as me. Full of suspicion, I look for an ulterior motive people, not trusting that I can accept things at face value. I see the shadow, rather than the light. I hesitate to entrust my fragile soul to someone else, and keep my troubles close to my chest. They hang off my shoulders by strong cords that are not easily broken.
And so, I have made a resolution: I will endeavour to blog regularly (perhaps daily) to prevent the build up of these burdens, and at least one positive thing must be included. I hope this will relieve the heavy loads I am prone to carrying, whilst at the same time reminding me of the joys I have experienced, which are so often obscured. Maybe this will also provide me with ideas for a book I am writing.
Positive item for today: volunteer training for Hull UK City of Culture 2017 is complete. The story behind this amazes me even more. I had been invited to an interview for the role (December 2016), yet for several weeks I did not respond because I had lost interest in everything around me and was sinking. I knew it was the beginning of depression, yet I felt powerless to stop it. Then somehow, in an instant this evaporated entirely through a colleague’s encouragement to just go for it. Mere days before the interview invitation closed, the fire was reignited and I had the interview. I feel this was God acting at the last moment, bringing me from the valley to the mountain. Even though depression tried to steal my passions from me, I have come back stronger.