Nearly 2 months have passed since I last wanted to go back to self-harming, or had suicidal thoughts. It's amazing how quickly time passes when it feels as though you're coasting through life, rather than struggling, and trying to find something positive in each day has made a significant difference to how I feel about … Continue reading 230 days free of self-harm
Month: March 2017
Why are our best efforts just not good enough for some people? They target the vulnerable, isolate the ones without power to make themselves feel better, and tear you down. A person in a position of power attempted to partly blame me for a mistake they had made, even when the computer system clearly showed … Continue reading Blame
At 4am I find myself wide awake, already thinking about this past week and the day ahead. If only I had just gone back to sleep before my thought processes were in full flow. Perhaps it isn't such a bad thing. In this busy life I reflect less often than I should. Clearly, my brain … Continue reading When you cannot get to sleep
This morning, the sky was a reflection of my soul following a troublesome week at work. It was misty, overcast, and miserable. Rain seemed likely, yet there was an element of unpredictability in the air; the norm for British weather. A job I once enjoyed had become challenging. I was weighed down, unable to see … Continue reading A smile makes all the difference
Remaining positive in a world of negativity presents challenges for a cynic such as me. Full of suspicion, I look for an ulterior motive people, not trusting that I can accept things at face value. I see the shadow, rather than the light. I hesitate to entrust my fragile soul to someone else, and keep … Continue reading One positive thing each day
After a year of undoing the lies that have been spoken over me since childhood, how could I let another person define who I am? Why does their opinion even matter? Having seen the deleterious effects of low self-esteem, what is this person to me, that I have allowed them to influence the very core … Continue reading Do I have value?
Anxiety, a very familiar entity whose presence I have not missed; we meet again. Have you come to torment me once more? Has my previous suffering not been enough to satisfy you? When will you leave me be? Lurking around every corner, you wait for an opportune moment to strike. Today, what shall it be? … Continue reading An Unwelcome Guest