A multitude of thoughts swirls endlessly amidst the busyness of daily life. So much change, so many positive developments that you have worked for my good, yet I am weary. Like a damp cloth the dark, heavy cloud begins to suffocate; each shuddering breath becomes more laboured. Despite the many amazing things that are currently happening, joy slips out of my grasp. Like an eagle flying against the wind, or fish swimming against the current, so my thoughts are battering me from all directions. I swim against the tidal wave of anxiety, and have no rest.
Forgive me for being too distracted by what is around me, for my focus has not been entirely on you. If only I had turned to you sooner, rejoicing in what you have done and resting in you; would I then have become so downcast? I should be elated with so many dreams coming to pass, and yet anxiety threatens to overwhelm. A towering fortress in my mind that casts a shadow on anything good, and strengthens that which is melancholic.
I know that I do not rest enough, that even if my body is at rest, my mind is exceedingly active. Once more, overthinking has brought weight that I do not have the strength to carry, yet I attempt to continue in life as though all is well. Having worked hard for a long time, laying everything aside does not come naturally to me. I need to permit myself to rest.