If the issues of the world are so big, and mine so small, why is it difficult to have a perspective that extends beyond what I can see, hear, touch? If my problems are indeed so insignificant, then surely there is no purpose in pursuing wholeness at all. After all, the problems of the world are too big for me to address, and pursuit of my own healing feels meaningless if it does not change the world around me.
Is it selfish, that I desire changes in myself? So much of my attention has been devoted to becoming whole, but do I know what I will do once this goal has been achieved? I have had fanciful ideas of helping people, but I do not feel suitably qualified or experienced. Who am I to tell someone not to self-harm or misuse substances? I am nobody; why should anyone listen to an inexperienced former cutter?
Then again, God has taught me and provided various tools to resolve my issues. The most minute detail is valid in his eyes and deserves his unwavering attention. Does this then confirm the validity of my wish to be healed and find freedom? How can I be the change that I want to see, unless I myself change?
On many occasions I have grappled with the concept that there are many problems bigger than my own; many people have had far worse experiences. I felt guilty for seeking help and pouring out my feelings time and again, when the things other people have faced far outweigh my own. And yet, nothing is too small for God; he wants to hear it all, regardless of how small a problem may seem.