So many reasons to praise you, so many reasons to trust, and yet here I sit with bowed head, weighed down by a maelstrom of thoughts, each one fighting to dominate. A dangerous whirlpool of my own making, I am close to the edge, clinging to you to avoid being drawn under.
You saw the peril from afar and beckoned me unto yourself, but my human understanding ignored your warning and proceeded regardless. How well I know the trap of anxiety. It sneaks in, seemingly innocuous, but ultimately causes depression.
First one apparently harmless item to ponder, and another; the issues upon which I think continue to build, until an impressive tower is formed in a foundation of sand. But it cannot last. One more burden is laid, and the structure collapses.
For too long I have relied on my own strength, only to hurt myself in doing so. Help me, Lord, to keep my eyes fixed on you.
Proverbs 12:25; James 4:8; 1 Peter 5:7; Philippians 4:6-8.
After a few weeks of rest from that which troubled me, I knew it could not be long before various issues returned with a vengeance. Thinking and worrying about how difficult things might be amplified my struggles when the dark thoughts did return. As is seen in the BBC series of Sherlock, these problems came back with a taunt, saying ‘Did you miss me?’
I wish to see the end of anxiety and the despair it can bring; I want to lead a normal life without darkness hounding me. And yet I can grow so used to a shadow gradually enveloping me, that it is only once I am back in the light that I see the dimness of the path I was treading.