Your desire to be in control is far-reaching, even if it is at my own expense. You don't care about me, I am just a number to you. I wonder: do you think you own my soul? That you can do as you please, without consequence? Or dictate what I can and cannot do? The … Continue reading Taking back control in my life
A few weeks ago I came across this site: http://projectself.com.au/6-days-to-decisiveness It's by Andrea Featherstone, who emails you a new video for each day of the challenge. Although it's aimed at being more decisive, I found the techniques and advice in these videos helpful for lowering my stress and anxiety levels, and I generally feel better in … Continue reading 6 days to decisiveness – a mindfulness challenge
Today I hurt myself, accidentally. A bit of light gardening, and the blade slipped to reveal far more than I would have guessed. After recently feeling suicidal on a couple of occasions, I knew I was no longer in the healthy state of recovery which I had been striving to attain. However, for these feelings … Continue reading 316 days without self-harm
Night Sky The day draws to a close As night begins to fall, Heralded by night time’s chorus. Shafts of moonlight pierce the dark, Only to be hidden by clouds Moving, so gently, in the cool breeze. Dark, quiet, and empty, Not a thing disturbs the silence. As you gaze at your surroundings, you … Continue reading Relapsing after months of improvement
The Unsung Song A beautiful, haunting note Echoes through the stillness, A lone voice in a deserted place. The sound travels across the water, Trees move to the melody, But no-one hears your song. Fear and rejection stole your voice Before you knew it was there. As the dark hides the light, So … Continue reading Dwelling on the past
All those times I feel overwhelmed by anxiety, or drowning in sorrow; a failure in life... Is it my fault? Have I brought this on myself? If you ask me what my strength is, I would say thinking. And my greatest weakness? Overthinking. My most powerful weapon turns on me, and usually I am to … Continue reading Have I brought this on myself?
I feel your long fingers trying to take hold of me, trying to suffocate me. You bring despair and remove all hope, trying to convince me that there is nothing left for me in this life. But you are lying. I have things to live for, I deserve to be here. I want to be … Continue reading Standing up to suicide